Inner Itachi
by SachiruNatsu
Summary: If you thought Sakura's inner self was bad, wait until you meet Itachi's...OOC Itachi
1. MeetMe!

Chapter 1

Meet…ME!

My morning had started off so very boring. Leader had called me at around four in the morning and as of now, I'm on my way to speak with him.

He sounded very angry, so I thought I would give him some time to cool down. I gave him a little over thirty minutes. Then I got extremely bored and decided to head over to his room.

I started that journey about two minutes ago and I am now reaching his door. Leader's door is so hard to miss. It is the most cryptic one in the building. The design is that of two snakes twisting around each other over and over again, then they meet each other face to face at the very top.

I stop in front of the door and knock two times. The door creaks open and a cold deep voice says the word, "enter."

'_Geez…could he get anymore cryptic?'_

'**I know right? I mean, no one has seen his face and his room is always dark…What is wrong with him?'**

'_You think he has an inner self like us?'_

'**Not likely, but who knows.'**

'_Seriously. Look at us! We are known to be one of the most murderous, emotionless people in the world, but look at us!'_

'**Guess you're right. Well, we should go in before people start worrying.'**

'_kk.' _

I finally enter the room with the stealth of a cat and sit down next to who I believe to be Kisame.

"Who will give me the mission report?"

Kisame looks at me as if telling me to answer, but to no avail. We all sit in silence for what seems like hours, but we know better than that. After of what I estimate to be about five minutes of silence, I begin to feel a dark aura surround the leader.

'_Why isn't Gill Guy answering?'_

'**I don't know! He knows I don't like to talk!'**

'_Well he better answer fast! Leader is getting angry!'_

'**I know! And I sure as hell ain't answering after we failed! Damn it Kisame! ANSWER!' **

As if Kisame was reading my mind, he answers.

"Failed. The kyuubi was able to escape us with the help of the legendary sanin Jaraiya."

'_Escape is an understatement! We almost got our ass kicked by that frog freak!'_

'**Shut up, we could've beaten him!'**

'_Naw-uh!'_

'**Yeah-huh!'**

'_Naw-uh!'_

'**Yeah-huh!'**

'**Naw-'**

"Uchiha!"

Someone yelling my last name disturbed my fight with my inner self and made me look to see who wanted my attention…I saw Leader glaring at me…

'**See what you did Ita?'**

'_Sorry Itachi, I didn't mean to!'_

'**Just shut up and leave already…'**

'_Fine…bye!!!'_

"I'm sorry leader," I answered with my same old monotone voice. "Since we failed, I do believe we should try it once again."

'_So you wanna kill us?'_

'**I thought I told you to leave.'**

'_So what if you did?'_

'**I'll kill you…'**

'_So you're threatening to kill yourself? That's new.'_

'**Your point?'**

'_AHH!! We're suicidal!'_

'…'

Apparently while I was having this great conversation with myself, Leader said some very important things.

"Did you get all of that Uchiha?"

Even though I have no earthly idea what he said, I decided to stay with my well known 'I heard everything and don't really car attitude.'

"Hn," was my simple reply.

"Very well then. It's settled. You will leave tomorrow at four in the morning for Konoha.


	2. The BUG!

Chapter 2

The BUG!

**Ok, I know I totally forgot the disclaimer last chapter, so before I do anything else:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto…yet.**

**Anyhow, I haven't gotten a single review L…It makes Chiru very sad…sniffle Ok maybe not, but I would like some because I need so encouragement from people…besides from 'Davis' (Sorry if you're reading this!) So anyhow please review or I may have to make it a two shot and just screw it. I don't mind flames even though they aren't my favorite…but criticism is always good because I know I'm not the greatest writer in the world. So anyhow, screw this, here's the story!**

'**Yo'Itachi inside his head**

'_Yo'_**Ita!**

"Yo!"Dialogue

I tried to sleep, but Ita wouldn't shut up. He went on and on until I finally took some sleeping pills and knocked us both out.

I just woke up this morning to find Ita still asleep…but he was snoring…that's what woke me up…

**'Ita…wake up, you're snoring!'**

_"Wha? No way, I don't snore, you do!'_

**'Tch. Keep telling yourself that.'**

_'I will. Besides, you needed to wake up anyways.'_

**'…'**

Ita and I are like best friends and worst enemies at the same time. We fight and argue with each other, yet we still have a few decent conversations, plus, we know each other better than anyone else ever will. In my opinion, he's the one thing that keeps me sane.(If that's what you would consider me as.)

_'Hey Itachi?'_

**'What?'**

_'Let's go!'_

**'Ok, ok I'm going!'**

Actually, I take that back…he may be the one thing that keeps me insane…

I met Kisame right outside of the building. I was actually only there five minutes before him, but to keep up with my reputation, I like to say, "I got here about half an hour ago."

"Ok Itachi, let's g-" I heard Kisame begin to say, but I was already on my way.

A quiet mumbling noise comes from behind me. Even though Kisame and I are at a fare distance away, I am still able to decipher some of it.

_'Did you get any of that Itachi?'_

**'Yeah, all I got was asshole, whore, and get laid…'**

_'Whoa! What is he thinking about?'_

**'Probably something along the lines of, 'Itachi is such an asshole! I need to hire a trained whore so he'll get laid and be nicer…'**

_'Cool! Is that how you figure out what people are saying all the time?'_

**'Well…partly, yes.'**

Ita didn't say much after that. I'm not sure why he all of a sudden decided to shut up, but I was kind of glad he did. You see, when we are having a conversation, my body is put on autopilot. I am completely unaware of my surroundings, unless, someone somehow snaps me out of my trance. I've even ran into a tree before. Needless to say, I was laughed at…(Which I did not enjoy.) Thus came the excuse of Mangekyou effecting my vision. Of course, Ita and I are the only ones who know that.

I soon begin to observe my surroundings. There are trees…everywhere…Some not even an inch apart. I believe they are pine trees, but I have never been a tree specialist, so don't rely on everything I tell you. Next, I look down at the ground. My theory about the trees has been proved by the pine needles blanketing the ground. That is all I am able to conclude about my surroundings for now. Maybe I'll look again at a different area. It all depends if Ita is in the talking mood or not.

"Itachi, we should rest. It's getting dark."

"Hn," is all I managed to say.

We stopped in front of a clearing and Kisame made a small fire. While Kisame was doing that, I take the time to observer my surroundings.

The grass is a dark brownish-green color from the lack of rain, and the trees are slowly dying from the cold weather. Other than that, there isn't anything special….except!

"EWW!!! Look a bug!!! I wanna touch it!!!"

I don't know what possessed me to do so, but I got up and ran towards the big shiny bug. I just kept grabbing at it and staring like I was a maniac. Right before I actually caught the bug, it flew away to where I couldn't see it anymore…

_'Did you just do…what I think you did?'_

**'I certainly hope not…'**

_'I think you did.'_

**'Oh damn…'**

"Itachi? Are you ok?"

_'Hurry up! Make an excuse fast!'_

_**'**_**I'm trying! I'm trying!'**

_'Come on!! Hurry!'_

"Someone's here. That was mind control."

"O…k? Where at?"

**'Damn! What do I do now?"**

_'I don't know! You're the one who made the excuse!'_

_**'**_**I've got it!'**

"He's in the tree above us."

"How do you know?"

"Don't make me explain mind control to you."

Then I jumped into the tree that hung over us and killed the 'person', who supposedly took over my mind. Guess who was the one to ask all the questions?

_'How did you manage that?'_

…If you guessed Ita…you guessed right…

**'Shadow clone.'**

_'But why didn't it look like you?'_

**'Henge no jutsu…'**

_'Ohhhh!! I get it!! Good one!'_

**'Thanks.'**

"Good job Itachi! Now, who gets first shift?"

"I will."

"Good! Cause I'm tired."

"Hn."

I once again heard Kisame growl a few things. This time, it was a bit different. It sounded like a completely different language. Wonder if he thought I heard him last time…Anyhow, Kisame finally lays down and covers himself with his Akatsuki cloak.

_'I hate that thing.'_

**'What thing?'**

_'That damned cloak…'_

'**Why?'**

_'It's so cryptic….I mean, why can't it be green with pink flowers?'_

**'Because then, the name Akatsuki would have no purpose.'**

_'Then change the name to Niwaa(sp?) Sakura!'_

**'That sounds real sinister…'**

_'It's not and that's the point. Gardens and Sakura blossoms don't look sinister, but you never know when there is a snake in your garden or a bee in your blossom.'_

**'You have learned well…Young grasshopper.'**

'_Screw you too_.'

**'Who?'**

_'You!'_

'**No, I mean who's going to screw me?'**

_Yo- WAIT! That's not cool!'_

**'No, you're not cool.'**

_'Fine! Go screw yourself then!'_

**'…'**

_'…'_

**'…'**

_'So anyhow, uhhh…How are we gonna catch the fox thing?'_

'**Easy. Sasuke-chan left about a year ago.'**

_'Yeah?'_

**'Well, I sure as hell ain't goin' back as myself or Sasuke because I'll get my ass kicked by the hokage! Therefore, I have come up with the plan of acting as a young kid who is found in Konoha forest half dead with only the words chunin and Sai to go by.'**

_'How does this help?'_

**'If I know Konoha, they'll take me in.'**

_'Good plan, but we can't use Sharingon.'_

'**When did you get smart?'**

_'I'm you, remember? Everything you're good at, I'm good at.'_

**'O…k'**

_'Now where did that bug go?'_

**Inner sweat drop**

I ended my shift ant one and let Kisame stay up until morning. He wasn't to happy because I woke him up, but when he got over it he shut his fish face and let me sleep. Next thing I know, I'm being poke poked by a stick…

_'Who the hell is that?'_

**'I don't know, but I'm gonna kill 'em'**

_''I'll help ya there!'_

It, turns out it was Kisame poking me…I have to say he was smart using a stick. If he would have been using his finger, it would be gone.

"I-Itachi! We need to leave!"

"Hn…"

"You have to wake up first!"

"I'm up…"

"Good! Now let's go!"

"Hn."

Once again Kisame mumbles something in that strange language.

_'What the hell is he saying?'_

'**It's probably his native language…In other words…I have no idea!'**

_'That helps…'_

Kisame makes an abrupt stop right in front of me. Thank god Ita shut up when he did, or else I would have ran right into his back.

"What is it Kisame?"

"We're here."

**Ok!!!! This one is a bit longer and I need my reviews!!! Tell me my mistakes!! I don't care!!!!! Anyways, here are the few translations for some of the words I used:**

**Akatsuki- dawn**

**Niwaa Sakura: Cherry blossom garden**

**So yea, and thank you:**

**Chibi-Kaiyaska and Edward18(love ya Jess!)**

**Um…yea, those were my 2 reviewers. Ok, that's all! Hasta la bye bye!\**

**-SachiruNatsu**


	3. My name is Sai sigh

Yo, my homies what's up?? Lol. Well, thanks for the reviews everyone. It really has encouraged me and it's cool meeting the random people who review me!! lol. (Even if they are people I forced to read this.) I love writing this stuff. If you knew in real life, you'd see I relate to Ita, that's why my friends say this is my best story yet. I totally agree. I mean, when you're writing about yourself, it's a lot easier, right? Ok, ok, I'll shut up now and begin the story.

Disclaimer :( After the disclaimer) I do not own Naruto because I'm to lazy to go to court and argue over it.

Chapter 3  
My name is Sai sigh

_'YEAH!' We're home!' _

**'No, we're not...**'

_'What are you talking about?' _

**'Ever since we joined Akatsuki, this has not been our home.**'

_'Why are you so sad all of a sudden?' _

'**...Guess.' **

_'Hey, listen Itachi. We're gonna be living here for the next like six months, so be happy!' _

**'Hell no. You can't boss me around!' **

_'On the contrary, I'm you, soooooo...I CAN AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!' _

**'Hmm, so if I killed myself now, I could get rid of you?' **

_'YEP! But you wouldn't do that! Would you?' _

**'I'm seriously considering it...' **

_'You know if ya die, you're just gonna burn for the rest of your life?' _

**'That compared to you is like heaven.' **

_'...Fine...bye...' _

**'Adios!' **

"Itachi, are you ready?"

I turned to Kisame with my stoic face and replied with a simply 'Hn.'

"You know, if you're gonna be living in Konoha, you're gonna have to talk more."

"Hn."

I guess that wasn't the answer he was looking for, because he dropped to the ground with multiple sweat drops. Instead of waiting for him to get up, I simply began walk off into the forest. I didn't look back once to see if Kisame was following...I didn't need to. When there is a seven foot fish with legs trailing behind you, it's easy to tell when he's following you or not. I guess that's why Kisame is never sent with me for stealth missions...

"Hey Itachi? Where are we going?"

He didn't expect an answer and I didn't give him one. I'm not to sure what Kisame thinks of me, but I think he knows me well enough that I won't answer him if it has ANYTHING to do with Konoha, but just because I felt like buggin' him, I answered.

"Knowing Konoha's ANBU, they will be in the forest."

Kisame was a bit star struck that I answered him. Then he smirked this sly, evil smirk. I wouldn't say it out loud, but Kisame just looks creepy when he's smirking, smiling, talking, anything that shows his teeth is just plain freaky...

_'Tell him to close his mouth!!! It's scaring me!' _

**'You don't think it's scaring me?!" **

_'He's your lover...of course not!' _

**'If he's my lover, what makes you think I'll tell him to close his mouth?' **

_'Damn it...How come you always when the arguments?' _

**'Because, I am smexy!' **

_'What makes you think that? I'm the smexy one!' _

**'Well we're the same people aren't we?' **

_'Damn it... What's your secret!!!!' _

**'You're to easy to predict, and I bet you'll say No I'm not right after this.' **

_'No I'm n-WAIT!!!! You suck!!!!' _

**'Then so do you.' **

_'Fine, I'm shutting up now!' _

**'Good!' **

At first, I thought it was Ita saying good back to my last comment, but it turned out to be Kisame talking to me.

"Good luck Itachi. You'll be here for a while and Leader will want a progress report about once every two weeks, so I'll see ya later."

"Hn."

Kisame sweat dropped again. He wiped the bit of perspiration off of his forehead and turned his back toward me. He simply put his hand in the air and said, "I'll see ya later." This time I didn't reply. I just mimicked Kisame and walked away.

_'Do you hear that?' _

**'Yeah, it's probably the ANBU.' **

_'Should we transform then?' _

**'Duh...' **

_'Yeah, yeah whatever...' _

I decided to ignore whatever rude comment Ita would add at the end of that sentence and focus on my justu. I did the handseals that I knew to well and transformed into a boy about the age of fourteen with coal black hair and eyes. My clothes were torn and dirty and my hair was sticking up in awkward positions.

As I heard noises coming form the bushes, I quickly preformed another jutsu that knocked me out, but I could still hear everything that was happening around me.

"What the hell is that thing?" I heard one of the ANBU exclaim.

"It looks like a kid." I heard another, more feminine sounding voice say.

"No duh, so what do we do with him?" The other one said.

"Make a wild guess."

"Ok...ok, let's get him to the Hokage."

_'Hey, what do ya know? It worked!' _

**'Of course it worked, it was a plan by mwa!' **

_'And meh!!!!_'

**'Yeah, you too...'**

"What the hell do want?" I heard an extremely mad and what seemed to be drunken voice say.

"We-well Hokage-sama...We f-found this boy in the forest..." The ANBU that found me stated.

"Does it look like I give a damn?"

"Y-yes?"

"Well you're right. Bring him here."

"Yes ma'am?"

I felt myself being placed on a table and something warm begin to enter my body.

"It seems the boy has had some sort of injury to the head. I will heal him after you leave the room."

I heard fast footsteps walk away from my new body and then I heard a door slam shut. As soon as the door was closed, the Hokage began her healing process. And after five or ten minutes, I felt the jutsu begin to wear off.

To make sure not to blow my cover, I slowly opened my eyes and blinked a couple of times. Then I grabbed my head and moaned like I was in pain. Just to convince myself and the Hokage a bit more, I looked around and asked with a slight stutter to my voice, "W-where am I?"

"You are in Konoha."

Now that I could actually see, I noticed the Hokage looked no older than 30.

_'Isn't she supposed to be an old hag?' _

**'That's what I thought too...' **

_'Dude, she's hot!! I mean look at those bo-' _

**'Shut up Ita, I need to concentrate.' **

'_On what????'_

_'_**…'**

_'Yeah, whatever...' _

"W-who are you?"

"I am the Hokage. The big question here is, who are you?"

"I'm-"

**'Oh, shit, I forgot the name!' **

_'Then make one up!' _

**'I can't! Akatsuki won't be able to find me!' **

_'Oh damn. Sigh' _

**'WAIT!! That's it!! The name is Sai!' **

"I'm...I can't remember!!"

"What do you remember?"

"I-I don't know!...Wait! I can remember the words Chunin...and Sai."

"Chunin hm? Well I don't think that's your name, and usually with Amnesia, Your name isn't forgotten. I guess your name is Sai."

I looked at this lady like she was crazy, even though I knew she wasn't. She looked back at me with relaxed features and a small smile set on her face.

"Then what am I going to do?" I asked out of the blue.

The Hokage seemed somewhat taken back by the question, but then her face changed back to her relaxed look when she found an answer to my question.

"I will give you one of the apartments in the village. We will test your strength and see what rank of ninja you were, or if you even were a ninja. If you are proven capable of being one, we will place you into the one team missing a person; team 7."

_'HELL YEAH!!!!! You rock my socks Itachi!!! It actually worked!!!!" _

**'Duh, it's me. remember?' **

_'...'  
_

Ok, end of chapter. w00t!!! I love Ita!!! haha. Yea well, ummmm review please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and thanks toooooooo...

Gaara's-pandachan101  
kage-youkai girl  
kagome-sam1109  
chibikaiyaska  
Lady Lilliana  
sasaide  
and of course ShikaSennyo/Loony Tsuki, or what ever I feel like callin her.  
-SachiruNatsu


	4. My new hell hole

**Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!! This is my Christmas present to all of my loyal fans (who practically never review….) Anyhow, for tonight my writers block is over and I really wasn't planning on updating until I got those 25 reviews, but it's 2 o'clock in the morning and I needed something to do, so I decided, hey it's Christmas, why not? Lol. Make SURE you read the end!!! There is some important news there Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (even though I think it's one of my Christmas presents)**

I walked to my new apartment without a single expression on my face. I was way too caught up in my inner conversation with Ita.

'So what are we gonna act like in this new body?'

'I'm not entirely sure…'

'Could I voice my opinion?'

'When have you needed to ask?'

'Good point………Anyhow, I was thinking we could stay kind of emotionless.'

'Why?'

'Because I know how attached you are to your 'no emotions self''

'Hn.'

Ita sweat dropped and continued talking.

'I was also thinking we could pretend to have fake emotions. What do you think?'

I could tell he was trying to aggravate me, so just to piss him off, I went along with his plan.

'Sure.'

'Seriously?????'

'Yep.'

'This is sooooo going on my calendar!'

'What the- you have a calendar?'

'Si Senor.'

Before I ran into the door, I broke myself from my inner self's ramblings and unlocked the door.

I was stunned by the inside of the building. It was very cozy looking, but at the same time, it was quite attractive. When you first walk in, you enter a short white hallway with a light switch on the left. Your feet leave the cold pavement and snuggle against the fluffy white carpet. Once you walk down the tiny hallway and enter the living room, the first thing you see is a long snow white sofa with a slight curve in the middle. At the area where the curve occurs, a rectangular, dark brown coffee table sits. Against the wall, there is a short bookshelf with a television on top of it. To the right of the bookshelf, there is a wooden door with a brass doorknob. Once you open that door, you find yourself in a light blue kitchen with a round glass table in the far corner and a medium size refrigerator. Next to the fridge, lies a small counter top and on the end of the counter, there is a trashcan.

We were thoroughly impressed by the kitchen and living room alone, but the bedroom…wow. That is what I call fancy. I would have to say this was my favorite room out of the house, and not just because the walls were a deep crimson. Also because of the bed! It was a queen sized bed with an extremely squishy mattress! At Akatsuki, all of our beds are rock solid. I'm not even sure if those things can be called a mattress! I immediately took advantage of the bed and jumped on top of it. As I was taking in the comfort of the bed, Ita decided to bug me.

'Hey Itachhhhhhhiiiiiii!'

'What?'

'Let's go shopping.'

'Why?'

'Because this whole ripped up outfit doesn't do a thing for our figure.'

'So?'

'I wanna show off. Just let me take over while we go shopping. Pllllleaaassssee???!!!'

'Hm….Let me think…..NO!'

'Awww! Come on! Why not?'

'Because…'

'Because what?'

'Number one, last time I let you take over for shopping…I woke up in a field…wearing a kunoichi outfit….Number two, you couldn't control your emotions if your life depended on it.'

'Pleaaaaaassse?'

'Ye-No…'

'Fiiinnneee. Be that way…I'm never talking to you again.'

'You'd be doing me a favor.'

And with those few words, Ita stuck his tongue out and retreated to the back of my mind. As if on queue, my doorbell rang. I got up from the nice, soft, squishy, comfy, bed and dragged myself over to the door.

I was to upset about leaving my new fluffy bed to even consider looking out the peephole. I must say myself…That was a grave mistake. I opened the door o see HIM standing there.

**Hehe. It's short chappie, I know, but I just wanted to have a little bit of a cliffy. Just because you know I won't update until I get my reviews. I'm only asking for thirty. That is eight reviews, and guess what? You've got some help because my friends love me so much! Now think about this, if you people who have me on your alert and favorites list reviewed, there would be like six of the eight reviews you need. Imagine that? People who have me on their favorites list and alert list update? That is unheard of! Anyhow, here is the important new like I promised.**

**I will say this story will be yaoi, but before ya'll get all mad, I'm gonna tell you, you will probably never guess who the pairing is. You see, I mostly got yaoi votes, but I also got some that said no yaoi, therefore, it is kind of a strange…yaoi that can only happen in this particular story. If you figure it out, well you're smart. If you don't, you and Ita would get along very well.**

**Anywho, a quick thank you to my reviewers:**

**Miyu**

**Lady Lilianna**

**Chibi-kaiyasaka**

**Kage-Youkai girl**

**Earthpaw**

**Tsnade**

**Bun**

**Jenna**


	5. Shopping with Ita

**And ya'll thought I wouldn't update until summer! LOL!!! Look at me now! Ok, I'll hurry and let ya'll read, so have fun and give me some criticism. To funny? Not funny enough? Tell!**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NARUTO!!! j/k j/k.**

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

My walk to the mall had become very uneventful. It started off with strange unfortunate events that Ita couldn't stop laughing at, but as I continued to stroll towards the large building in the middle of Konoha, the fun stuff dissipated...

When we got to the mall there was no change. Ita simply stated that he wanted to go here, here, and here. Since he was getting on my nerves, I told him no, no, and no!!!! He finally shut up until we passed on shop…

'_EWWW! Let's go there!" _ Ita exclaimed pointing at a shop with pink and purple curtains in the window.

"**No."**

'_And why not????!"_

'**Do you need any lingerie some time soon?'**

'_Oh…hehe. Guess not.'_

I continued trotting down the isles and observing each shop carefully until I came across on with the word 'SHINOBI' written on it.

I walked right in and almost walked right out when I saw this pastel pink color at the front desk. Ita threatened to scream when the pink blob began to talk.

"Hiya there!" The voice said in a cheery tone. "Welcome to Shinobi! Do you need help finding anything?"

When Ita soon found this was a women with pink hair, he went all freaky hyperactive on me.

'_Come on Itachi! Ask her if you could touch her hair! It looks so soft and it's our favorite color!!'_

'**No Ita, it is your favorite color.'**

'_B-but…Please?'_

'**Get over it and shut up.'**

"Sir?"

I noticed that once again, I was off in my own little world not paying any attention to the outside of my body, so I had to make a quick decision to make it look like I had been thinking the whole time.

"Ah yes ma'am," I stated as I glanced around the small shop looking for any trace of the color black. When I found none, I decided to ask her and use that as what I was thinking about. "Do you own any black clothing?"

A small frown graced the girls face when she heard the repulsive color's name. Still, the girl knew her job very well and turned to show me where MY favorite color of anything was concealed.

The pink haired girl led me to a room that had a thin, light blue cloth covering it. Once she pushed it to the side, I could see nothing but black. I was content with what I saw and slowly nodded to tell her she could leave. Ita on the other hand, was far from happy.

'_All of this stupid black reminds me of leader's room…'_

'**Awe come on Ita, cheer up!'** I said surprisingly happy.

'_No thanks…'_

I had lived with Ita for all of my life and I knew the way to his heart. That way, was letting him shop. Of course, his liking of clothing and pink led me to believe he was gay, though I never told him that theory.

'**Fine. Then I guess you're too depressed to choose my outfit. Oh w-'**

'_WAIT! I can choose?!'_

'**As long as the clothes are for a guy and it is black.'**

'_Ok, ok. Just take all the fun out of it why don't you?'_

'**I think I just did.'**

………………………………………………………………………………………

Two hours went by and Ita was still shopping.

'**Are you done yet Ita?**' I groaned loudly to myself. He was taking forever and it was driving me crazy! Even the clerk came in twice to make sure I wasn't dead…

'_Itachi dear, you must understand that I must find the PERFECT outfit f- OMG! There it is!'_

I looked up to see my inner self pointing at some skimpy black piece of leather. There was no way that thing could even come close to being clothes.

'**No way.'**

'_But Itachi!!!'_ Ita whined. '_You said I could pick!!!_'

'**And I said it had to be for a GUY too.'**

'_Well it is. Look at the tag._

I trusted Ita enough to know he wasn't lying, but I kept my answer the same and we continued arguing over this situation for what seemed like a whole other hour! Finally Ita devised some wicked scheme that I couldn't turn down.

'_If I can embarrass you, will you let me buy it?'_

'**You can try.'**

'_Fine then. Let me take over._'

'**Hn.'**

Without hesitation, Ita popped out of my mind and took my body into his evil grasps. I felt myself being pulled out of the dark room and stop in front of the counter. There, behind the light blue table, was the annoying pink haired clerk, but she wasn't the only thing I noticed…There was something in my hand. Something Ita refused to bring into my range of sight…

"Hi miss." I heard Ita say in a deep manly voice to get the girls attention.

"Hello there. Did you find what you wanted?"

"Well, not quite, but I decided to take a break from my…strenuous activities."

The girl giggled politely form behind her hand. I could feel myself grin. Oh I was going to murder Ita when he was back inside my mind. I never smiled…EVER!!!!!

"Well, anyhow," Ita began in a charming voice. "Iwaswonderingwhathairdyouusedforyourhair!" Ita almost screamed in a girlish manner.

The girl giggled again. "I don't dye my hair, sir. Pink is its natural color."

"No way!" Ita said gaily (literally).

This time the girl blushed and nodded her head.

"That is too cool!"

'_How's that, Itachi?_'

'**Still not embarrassed.**' I stated while pretending to examine my nails.

When Ita spoke again, I noticed it was drowned in a certain slyness. I could tell he was plotting something. "Ma'am? I would like to buy this please."

At first I wasn't sure what he was talking about, but then I remembered the item in my hand. I was expecting it to be a tampon or something, but what I saw was far worse…It was the outfit!

'**Ita!!! Put that thing back or I'll murder you!'**

My attempt to stop him failed. Ita was acting against my will. Nothing like this had ever happened before! I couldn't take back my control!

"Are you sure?" The girl asked questionably.

"Positive."

"Ok then…" The girl took the…the thing out of my hand and rung up the price. "It's going to be 20.19."

"Hai."

Ita slowly began pulling out the money just to get me even more upset. The sad thing was; it was working.

The girl took MY money from MY hands and placed it in the register. As I turned to leave with the 'outfit' in my hand she smiled and said what all store clerks say. "Thank you for shopping! Come back soon!"

Once we left the store, Ita let me take my body back and was I furious.

'**I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ITA!!!!'**

'_Go for it._' He snickered. _'But that was so much fun!'_

'**For you maybe…Now I'm tired damn it.'**

'_Good, you can let me out then!'_

'**No way. You're staying here and being quiet.'**

I guess Ita decided to give me some slack and let me sleep in peace for once because after I told him to, he shut up. So finally, after a long days activities, I fell asleep on some random person's roof.

(I was gonna end it there…)

**Ita's P.O.V.**

I never said it out loud, but? Itachi was a fool. I don't think he knew that I had figured out how to take control of his body while he was sleeping. Probably because I rarely ever did, but today I wanted to have some fun and I did just that.

I was so ecstatic when I was freed that I practically flew to the other side of the roof. That is when I ran into an orange jumpsuit.

"Who the hell are you?!" The loud-mouthed jumpsuit yelled right into my ear.

"You may call me Sai, Miss." I retorted, not forgetting our mission.

"Miss? What the hell is wrong with you? I'm a guy!"

"Really? I couldn't tell."

"How come?" He asked in a childish manner.

"Because you lack penis, idiot."

A voice echoed in the back of my mind. And I will tell you now, that voice scared me like no other. Even though all it said was, **'Ita…'**

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**DEAD! So? What are you waiting for? Review! Review!**

**-SachiruNatsu**

**P.s. 47 reviews are expected before I update!**


	6. Fer Sure!

**And I update! Recently I've gotten so many reviews saying that they really want me to update and I just want to apologize because I've been having a hard time writing this particular story. A few things have happened this year that have kind of dampened my mood, so I started to write Emo Eyes and got very attached and now I'm writing like fifty million other stories. Some successful, some not so much. Anyhow enjoy and thank you all so much for the encouragement and tips.**

**Disclaimer: No I don't own Naruto, nor do I own ****Fer Sure ****by the Medic Droid. (Don't get mad Jeffery Star!) Nor do I own Erik! **

'**Itachi's inner ramblings.'**

'_Ita speaking.'_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I had criticized Ita to no end. What the hell was he thinking? How did he learn how to do that in the first place? What the fuck?! Now I was forced to explain myself to the kyuubi of all people in this cruel world.

_'I'm sorry Itachi!'_

**'Shut the fuck up already! You are lying!'**

_'So maybe I am, what about it?'_

**'Well-wait. Did you just admit that you're lying?'**

_'No of course I wasn't. DUH I was admitting it!'_

'_**Wow, I guess I will have to forgive you then.'**_

_'What the moo? You are one screwed up dude._'

'**You're the one who decides to gallivanting off and tell, hm I don't know, the kyuubi kid that he lacks penis. Way to get him to trust us Ita. Way to go.'**

_'Well, well you're the one wh-'_

Speaking of annoying fox brats, he just so happened to pop up out of nowhere. "Hey! Hey you! Yeah you! The guy with the gay outfit! What the hell is wrong with you? I've been calling your name for like five minutes!"

I decided to play dumb so I could get by without any consequences. "What ma'am?"

I smirked inwardly as the kyuubi container turned a bright red color. Maybe Ita's idea wasn't so bad.

"I told you I'm a guy damn it!"

"Of course. Now by any chance, are you a part of team seven?" I already knew the answer, but I needed to win over this village and team and the only way I could think of to do that was to act like a complete and total nuisance.

"Uh, yeah. W-why?" The kid stuttered, confused by my sudden random question.

"Fabulous!" I exclaimed. "I'm your new team member!"

_'Where did fabulous come from? That makes you sound so gay.'_

'**Well then, that must make me the gayest straight guy eva!'**

Ita the murmured something out loud that almost blew my cover. "Come one come all and feast your eyes upon the gayest straight guy alive…"

The fox child in front of me quickly attempted to reprimand my actions in such a distasteful manner, but before he could finish his lecture, a female voice intervened. "You? The gay guy from the shop? You're our new teammate?"

I twirled toward the bittersweet voice that had sounded from beside me and took in her full profile from bottom to top. Black stiletto boots, creamy white legs, beige skirt, tight black leggings, tight shirt that gave little room to imagine, strong sleek arms, glittering fluorescent eyes, and pink hair. This chick was hot.

Wait! Pink hair? No way! This was the girl from the shop! I hadn't paid much attention to her in the beginning because, well I wasn't that interested, but now I wish I would have noticed sooner.

_'Kick off your stilettos and fuck me in the backseat, huh?_' Ita practically drooled.

**'Fer sure!**' was the only reply I could conjure up.

_'We need to start checkin' out these Konoha babes! I wonder if they have a 'Playboy Shinobi' magazine…." _

'**Yeah me too…'**

_'Hm, well if we are going to start checking out the ladies, you better start with that kyuubi kid!'_

My face contorted into the weirdest of all faces I had ever seen. **'I didn't know you were bi Ita.'**

Ita chuckled lightly. _'Fer sure maybe, fer sure not!'_

What the hell is that supposed to mean?!

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**Ok, there ya have it folks. Short and sweet, but to the point. I told ya I've had this stupid writer's block. I'll try with all my heart to make it longer next time and I also promise to update at least two more times this summer! **

**68 reviews are expected before I update! I love ya'll!**

-**SachiruNatsu**


	7. Explosion

**FINALLY! I am alive I swear it. I'm so sorry that it took almost over a year for me to update. School is very lame. And I know it's sort of short, but I will try and keep updating as much as possible. Especially over Christmas break. :). So I do hope you enjoy this chapter deeply and since it is the month of forgiving (it is right?). Forgive this poor overwhelmed writer. **

**Disclaimer: Merry Christmas Chiru. You officially own Naruto! Oops. Wrong Chiru. Just Kidding. -__-.**

'**Itachi's Inner Ramblings'**

'Ita speaking'

………………………………………………………………………**.**

Explosion

'**Seriously Ita, what did you mean by that?'**

'_I dunno. What did YOU mean by what?_'

'**Damn it Ita. Are you bi or not.'**

'_Good question, but I have a better one. Are you just high or hot?'_

'**Well, I suppose I'm a smexy beast but still-' **

'_I was rhyming, Mr. Smexy Beast. Get it straight.'_

'**Wait. Right. Straight. Are you?'**

'_Quizas'_

'**What the hell Ita, there is no way I'm going to kiss your ass.**'

'_You're more of an idiot than I thought. Go learn Spanish.'_

'**Wha-?'**

"So, are you our new teammate or what?"

"I'M NOT GAY!" I clutched my lips together tightly. I had spoken my thoughts out loud again! This had to stop. I needed an excuse. Now.

"Excuse me?" questioned the kunoichi.

"Oh, um. Sorry. I thought that you were referring to my earlier comment on the kyuubi kid and I had already decided how was going to answer. My apologies."

The girl seemed satisfied enough with my reply, but I sensed a bit of doubt in her aura. I sweat dropped and turned towards Naruto. "So, who did you say your boyfriend was?" He turned boiling red and gritted his teeth before he began yelling curses in such a high-pitched voice that I really did believe he was gay; or at least a transvestite.

The sound of 'poofing' caught me attention, but apparently, not anyone else's. Sakura was utterly stunned by her sensei's random appearance, but Naruto…well Naruto's reaction time was right on queue. "DAMN IT KAKASHI! YOU  
DAMN POOFER! WHAT'S YOUR ISSUE?"

I smirked. At least this team was entertaining.

"Well Naruto. I can't seem to recall me having issues, but according to this young…man here, you have one of your own. Please inform me who your boyfriend is so I may pity them."

The boy was so fast I hardly even saw him move, but it seemed his female teammate was accustomed to his rash actions. She was holding his arms behind his back before he could take one step closer towards Kakashi. "Naruto! Shut up and chill out!" The girl looked up at her sensei and smiled. "Now Kakashi-sensei, what is our mission?"

Kakashi's gaze darkened. "Find and capture, Uchiha Sasuke."

My heart stopped. In fact, I'm pretty sure everyone else's did too.

_'Well isn't this great? We get to have a reunion! Aren't you excited Itachi?'_

**'CHAHA! DUDE! I miss Sasuke-chan sooo much! I wonder if he still hates me**.'

_'Prolly.'_

'**Oh well**.'

_'Yep. So why does he hate you so much again?'_

**'Well it could be one of many things. It maybe from poking him in the forehead too much or neglecting to teach him how to throw shuriken or—' **

_'Or maybe slaughtering our parents right in front of him and then making him watch us kill the entire clan.'_

**'Well that's a possibility too, but I think it's because of that one time.'**

_'What one time?'_

**'You know, **_**that **_**one time.'**

'_You mean the one time we died his hair white and tattooed a mustache on his face and then we told him the only way to remove the tattoo was running through the village naked and screaming 'Rawr, I am a kraken from the sea!'?'_

**'Yep. I'm pretty sure that's why he hates us.'**

The little girls voice stuck me as odd, so I pulled out of my thoughts. "But sensei, why is Tsunade sending us on this mission. I need to know if she intends to torture him for information." Her voice was a mere whisper as she repeated herself. "I need to know…"

"There is nothing to worry about, Sakura-chan."

**'So that's her name…Sakura. How cliché.'**

_'But it fits her._'

'**Yeah. Her hair is pink. Anyone could tell you that.'**

_'Well, I think she represents the flower in more ways than that.'_

**'Enlighten me, Ita.'**

_'Well, she's pretty, she smells good, and ok, yeah it's just her hair that reminds me of a blossom.'_

**'Thought so.'**

_'Oh hush up.'_

**'You. Fag.'**

_'Haha. You just called yourself a faggot! You're hilarious.'_

I shut my mouth. Ita always knew how to shut me up.

"Anou," the kyuubi kid stuttered after what had seemed to be an awkward silence. "Sensei, why is this freaky kid with us?"

"Tsunade assigned him to this mission."

"But he's creepy. And he's a meany face!"

"Well you smell funny!" I taunted back. Both Sakura and Kakashi snickered at my comment.

"Shut up! At least I don't look like a fucking ghost!"

_'Say it!'_ Ita urged.

**'No.'**

_'Come on. You know you want to.'_

**'No.'**

_'Pussy.'_

"Well you lack penis!"

Everyone but Naruto burst out laughing. Even me. But Naruto…yikes. I think he finally boiled over and exploded.

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I really hope you liked it! I enjoyed writing it. :] Now don't forget to review. :] That will help me update, I'm sure. :]

_**Lovely Loves,**_

_**Chiru**_


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